The Last of Us: What if You Stay
by Rain2009
Summary: She shook her head, knowing she shouldn't say the following words, but couldn't stop herself. Her throat constricted painfully and she had to swallow, when she finally spoke her voice was nothing more than a whisper, but Riley caught every word. "Don't go."


**Author's Note:** So I PROMISE I haven't forgotten Tangled Webs, this is just one of those things that DEMANDED it be written. I've been talking with Revanite recently about The Last of Us and while I played the game not long after it's release, I never got the chance to play the DLC. I found out Ellie is in fact a canon Lesbian and I HAD to watch the DLC. Upon witnessing it, this whole one-shot just kind of flowed from me. It's just one of the many different ways I pictured their thoughts forming in this scene.

 **Disclaimer:** The song from which this title was inspired from belongs to Chuck Wikis. The Last of Us video game from which this came belongs to Naughty Dog, Sony Entertainment and Neil Druckmann. I own nothing but my idea behind this story. They created this sandbox, I just play in it. :)

 **The Last of Us**

 **What if You Stay**

 **By**

 **Rain2009**

"I said it like an asshole… but I _totally_ meant it." Ellie paused, working up the courage to repeat the phrase that tore her very being to pieces. She watched as Riley shuffled from foot to foot, guilt etched deeply in her face, though Ellie couldn't place why. "You should go. I mean, this is something you've wanted for," She forced an encouraging smile to her lips. "You know, forever so… who am I to stop you?"

Riley let out a huff of air through her nose. "You're the one person that can."

Ellie casted her gaze to the floor, trying to convince herself it wasn't the way she thought it to be. Closing her eyes she changed her voice to that of a mock plea, trying to ignore how true the words were. " _Nooo_! _Please_ don't go I will be _so_ miserable without you."

She didn't see the way Riley looked down, a shy smile upon her lips. When Ellie opened her eyes she only saw the look of someone who already missed her friend. The amber haired girl kicked at a piece of loose flooring.

"I'll be fine. And… You'll be fine. And we'll see each other again." She sighed.

Riley let her gaze travel over the girl she had come to care for as more than just a friend, memorizing ever inch of her. Words of shameless truth hung on her tongue, but she just couldn't bear to utter them. She had every intention of confessing her feelings, but only on the condition Ellie asked her to stay. It wasn't fair to the girl she cared to deeply about to just confess her feelings to and then leave without knowing if they would ever see one another again; both doomed to constantly ponder the endless cycle of "what if." Breaking the spell she hands her the water guns.

"You should keep these," Her throat was thick with unshed tears. "Not gonna do me any good." Ellie took the offering solemnly, kneeling to the floor. Wanting to cheer her up, an idea struck her. "You still lug that Walkman around?"

Ellie removed her backpack and began to stuff the items inside as she scoffed, clearly masking her own unshed tears. "Always."

"Let me see it."

Ellie reached into her green bag without hesitation and handed it to her friend, the only person she ever trusted with the object. "Here."

"What's in it?"

Ellie clicked her tongue, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink as she answered. "That tape you gave me."

"You really will be miserable without me." Riley replied as she gave her a light shove as she passed.

"Shut up." Came the bashful reply.

"Leave that. Follow me."

Ellie zipped up the bag and stood to follow her friend. "What are we doin'?"

"You'll see."

They didn't walk very far, the soft glow of the electronics section casted shadows across their faces as they entered. Riley sauntered right over to the only working stereo system that played a lulling classical tune. She grabbed a cord and plugged it into the headphone jack, hitting play before switching the player to a setting labeled AUX. For a brief moment the Amber haired girl wondered how she had come to learn the device so well but the sound of an intro chased the thought away. Ellie instantly recognized the percussion beat mixed with a rhythm guitar and a _hint_ of trumpet as Etta James cover of I Got You Babe. She discovered the title after Winston asked her if he could take a listen. The old man a rough around the edges, but had a kind soul.

"Yeah!" Riley beamed as her body began to move in rhythm.

"What are you-" Ellie began in confusion, but as she watched her dark skinned friend proceed to climb on top of an old display case nearby it suddenly clicked. "Really?"

"C-mere." Ellie rolled her eyes but began walking her direction none the less. She gave the impression of being "moody" at her friends antics but its all just for show, she would do _anything_ for Riley. As if on cue she added, "Get your ass up here."

Ellie climbed on top of the glass, muttering to herself about how stupid she felt. Her friend had always been the dancer. Riley could make dancing to the pattering sound of pouring rain look effortless, beautiful.

 _She_ was beautiful.

Ellie on the other hand, could barely keep her head in rhythm; if her life depended on busting a tasteful dance move, she would be _so_ screwed. And so when she reached the top she began to self consciously shuffle from side to side, her head bobbing up and down. Riley wasn't having _any_ of that however and grabbed her hands, twisting their bodies in tune with the soulful R&B rendition.

Ellie couldn't help that laugh that burst fourth and when Riley dropped her hands, she threw all embarrassment to the wind and began to freely dance. She let the music flow through her and direct every move as she jumped up and down, swaying to the tune. This was how it was supposed to be all along. Her and Riley. Just two kids trying to forget how screwed up the world around them truly was. In that moment, Ellie wasn't enlisted in the Military Academy and Riley-

Riley was leaving in the morning.

The realization hit her like a snakebite, its venomous fangs sinking in deep and ceasing her joyful movements instantly. As much as she tried to put on the brave face for her friend, it destroyed her inside. She knew it was selfish but she wanted her to stay, _needed_ her to stay. Without Riley, life just seemed to lose all color. She had spent the last several weeks believing her to be dead. She had spent _hours_ crying in her bunk listening to this very tape repeatedly. She meant so much to her and now that she was back, it was as though a part of her soul had been brought back to life. She finally had the chance to tell her how she felt, even if she wasn't ready to admit those feelings. The point was, she wasn't dead and she _could_ say something should she so choose. But with Riley being shipped out to god only knows where, she had lost her all over again. Yet here they were, laughing, dancing and jumping like buffoons as if nothing would ever change.

All the while Ellie was dying on the inside at the mere thought of it all.

She took her bottom lip between her teeth, watching as Riley twirled, shuffling her feet right on cue to the beat. She had a kind of understated beauty; perhaps it was because she was so disarmingly unaware of her prettiness. Her dark skin was completely flawless. She had a habit of making things easy, helping those around her to relax and be happy with what little they all had, or at least it was that way for Ellie. Perhaps that's why her skin glowed, it was her inner beauty that lit her eyes and softened her features. When she smiled and laughed Ellie couldn't help but smile along too, even if it was just on the inside. Simply being in her company made her feel like she was someone, that she was more than just some Military brat. And when she would flash her a genuine smile, it filled Ellie with a warmth fund in the rays of the summer sun regardless of the season.

"Here-" Riley took note of her friends sudden halt in movement and moved to take her friend by the hand to dance with her once more. When Ellie pulled away, there was no masking the pain behind her green eyes. "What is it?"

Riley's chocolate orbs bore into Ellie's emerald, searching for the source of her pain. Ellie felt as though she were near the brink of tears. She cared _so_ much about the girl before her she was more than willing to sacrifice her own happiness for the breathtaking beauty in front of her.

Then why did she want to say fuck it and be selfish for a change?

"Hey…" Riley questioned softly, and Ellie noticed there was nothing but concern laced in her gentle voice as she stepped toward her. "What's wrong?"

' _Just smile Ellie. Tell her its nothing,_ ' She mentally coaxed. " _Tell her its because you know you're gonna be in trouble if you don't leave soon,_ anything _but the truth_.'

But she couldn't do that. She was more than just her best friend, she was her everything. Losing her once had been heartbreaking enough, losing her twice? That was impossible. She shook her head, knowing she shouldn't say the following words, but couldn't stop herself. Her throat constricted painfully and she had to swallow, when she finally spoke her voice was nothing more than a whisper, but Riley caught every word. "Don't go."

Riley felt as though someone had stolen the very breath from her lungs, her mind instantly forgetting how to breathe. She grasped for the syllables to tell Ellie just how much she meant to her, but as her lips began to form the words, nothing would come. How do you tell your best friend that she had just said the two words you had longed for her to her since the moment you got your orders?

The stilled air between them lingered in the air, thick and heavy, like a blanket. Fear flashed across Ellie's face and Riley knew she regretted her plea. Before she had a chance to take them back however, she reached into the neckline of her stained, ribbed tank top and pulled the silver pendant from its confines. Giving it hard yank she broke the clasp and tossed it to the ground like it were garbage. She knew she was tossing away what was possibly her _only_ chance at _true_ freedom, but the only thing she needed in her life was standing right before her.

Ellie's eyes darted to where the chain had been just seconds before. ' _She actually did it. She did it for_ you.' Her heart soared. The urge that followed was overwhelming. It was like she was somehow inexplicably drawn to her. She looked into her deep brown eyes and lost herself. She dove forward before her mind had a change to hesitate or change.

The moment her lips pressed against Riley's, her brain lit on fire and the warmth spread throughout her entire body. After that Ellie knew Riley was the drug and she was the addict, she couldn't bear to not be with her and she could barely breathe when the other girl was around. That single kiss was her salvation and her torment. She lived for them and would die with the memory of them on her lips. She dedicated her life to being with her from the moment of that first kiss. She was the half that made her whole.

Unexpectedly, Riley's hand found her forearm and drifted to her slender fingers. It settled there and pulled her closer. Ellie inhaled sharply, her heart pounding against her chest. If this was what love felt like, then she never wanted the feeling to end.

She drew back, her breath heavy, the corner of her lips curled slightly as she continued to look deeply into her eyes, tracing the faint trundles of cognac with her shimmering bright green. Riley's hand was still entangled in her own and when she finally found her voice it was nothing more than a whisper. "Sorry."

Riley shook her head slightly with disbelief, her tone just slightly higher than Ellie's. "For what?"

A soft laugh of relief flowed from Ellie's mouth as she shook her head, taking a small step back. "What do we do now?"

Riley shrugged. "We'll figure it out."

* * *

 **Authors Afterword:** So there you have it! No, there wont be any more. I don't think I have the patience right now to deal with more than one story at a time, but I MIGHT debate on continuing this once Tangled Webs is complete BUT I make NO promises. As always, let me know what you guys think of this in the review section. I love learning how I can improve my writing :)


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